Sorry you guys; it's kind of an emo rant.

If possible; don't read it.


Guhh; I just messed up. I mean, I messed up really bad. I don't want her to read it, because it'll just sounds like I want sympathy. I don't need sympathy, because it was my fault. I screwed up. And i feel so bad about it. I was laying on the couch crying for 30 minutes. That's how bad i was feeling. Don't feel bad for me, I don't deserve it. I messed up. And it's my fault. That's that. I just wanna type it out. Since, I don't sound as sincere on the computer when I apologized. And I didn't wanna say, "I feel so bad I was crying. I'm sorry." That's just stupid. Why should I expect sympathy when there were ways for me to avoid this. I know it's my fault, and you know. . .I didn't know that I messed up at the time. I really didn't. And then she told me how mad everyone was at me, and I freaked out, I didn't realize I messed up so bad. It hurts, because her mom and her brother, and she's mad (they like. . hate me). Their all really mad. You can tell by the tone she said everything, I mean, she was mad. She really was. I was trying to clear it up with her, and tell her that I heard it wrong, but you know what, that's my fault. I should've listened better. I don't think I even deserve to tell her my side of the story, because I thought about it. . and it's just excuses. If I could I'd walk to her house right now, and apologize to every single family member. I'm always messing up too. I just never listen, I never. . .my communication, basically, I do listen. It's just, I don't listen well. I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I can't even stand right now, I mean I can. .. it's just.. .then it start to hurt more. I think I'm going to write a letter to her. I sound like a little whiney bitch. The feeling in my chest hurts makes me feel like I can't breathe. So I push it down, and it feel a little better, but it makes me feel like I'm suffocating again. Man, why'd it happen today? It's Monday. That means I still have to see her all week. Sorry about this you guys. But I needed to say it somewhere. I wanna just go to sleep, and wake up, but I know, I can't just "Escape this", so I'm willing to apologize to her parents. Or so whatever it takes to make up for it. You should've seen how ANGRY they were. //sigh// I'll just do my best, and try to get through it.